I’m not just a yogi and psycho therapist, I’m also a bit of a grammar nerd. And I take issue with the way the word balance is constantly being bantered around by helpful new age hippies (don’t get your knickers in a twist when I use a phrase like that, I’m self-identified)
I think it’s important to note that balance is a noun AND a verb. So when folks talk about ‘achieving balance’, that’s the noun form. I think that is misleading however, leaving you to think it’s something you can get, like a latte. But it’s NOT. It’s not a stride you hit and then you can coast on the rest of you’re life. I’m sorry to be a Debbie Downer, but it’s just NOT.
Before you despair though, think of the word as a verb. Here’s a good example: Slackline.
Ever tried it?
SUPER challenging. I tried it, and couldn’t even begin to wrap my brain around how to do it. I’ve watched people try it and succeed at it, but it took a lot of falling off, and a lot of patience. Once their arms stop pinwheeling though, and their body stops quivering, there comes this look of peaceful alertness on their face – they GOT it!
But it doesn’t mean they are DONE working to stay on the slackline then, it doesn’t mean that it’s any easier all of sudden, it just means that their work has gone DEEPER. They worked out all the large gross motor skill issues, and now can concentrate on some finer aspects. This doesn’t mean it’s any easier…it’s still WORK.
Can you see how that applies to life? We may start out swinging back and forth, our lives quivering all the time, our feelings flailing their proverbial arms in the air from one extreme to the other…
‘I’m so in love with her!’
‘I don’t ever want to see him again’
‘I’m never going to have another beer/Twinkie/cigarette again!’
‘Maybe just one more beer/Twinkie/cigarette…’
But as we apply ourselves to it, with repetition and patience, we begin to slow down, and not quiver or flail as much. The most important part in learning any new skill is the patience.
Again, did I mention PATIENCE?
Look. Life is complicated. Balance takes time.
So remind yourself of the difference between a noun and a verb the next time you get impatient with yourself and your process. No one ever achieves balance and simply rests there. It’s a constant feeling, like on a slack line, of give and take, this way and that…so to cut yourself some slack(pun intended) and forgive yourself as you modulate through your life…a little this way, a little movement that way…a little this way…oh nope, back that way…over a little to the left…and on and an.
Love All Ways,
Julie Hale, The Psycho Therapist
Questions or comments? Leave them below or email me, I’m always glad to hear from you!